In my last blog post, I totally missed saying anything about Autumn's baby blessing on Sunday. It was lovely and she was so quiet and Jeff said she just stared up at Jordan the whole time. She wore the family blessing dress (Jenna was blessed in it in 1994 as well as Brooke in 2011 and now Autumn).
Wednesday, I actually finished the baby quilt (will make some adjustments when I'm there again), did a little more packing and a little more straightening. I am still in complete unbelief that I did that much in one day and even more impressive, even got over to Jordan and Becca's and got to hang out with them one last time.
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We were saying our goodbyes and Brooke said to Jenna, "you not take Autumn with you". LOL! She must have overheard one of us jokingly say that we just wanted to take her back with us to Oregon. Of course Jenna said "no", but still, first thing the next morning she asked Becca, "Jenna take Autumn"? Brookie and Micah REALLY love their new little sister. They are so gentle with her and are always giving her sweet kisses.
Thursday morning we headed up to BYU- Idaho. I prayed and prayed I would have the energy to do the campus tour with Jenna. I figured she might bail if I said she'd have to do the tour herself. We were able to park right next to the building where the admissions office is and that office was right inside the door on the main floor. They gave me a bottled water and I sat down and caught my breath. The tour didn't start for a half hour still so someone took us over to see the on-campus housing. I don't care how cheap it is to stay in those apartments, they are DARK and TINY! (There are plenty of off-campus apartments, and affordable, so no one panicked). I stayed up with them until it came to seeing the girls hang-out room up some stairs. I declined the ascent and paused again caught my breath. The tour guide was a very nice, friendly student.
Soon after that, the official tour started and I can't tell you how relieved I was when the tour guide asked us if we minded the tour in a golf cart! LOL. There were several other people on the tour as well and even a mother/daughter pair from Oregon City, Oregon. The daughter was apparently of mixed race and we observed many, many other ethnic students as well. Both Jenna and I were surprised and pleased with the diversity.
It's a really nice campus and the people were very friendly and helpful. I think Jenna was pleased with what she saw and has decided she'd really like to go there. Now she just needs to get her "ducks in a row" with the application process, etc.
I am really glad we did the tour and I made it through. Jenna was really sensitive to my limitations and offered her arm every time I seemed to lose my balance or struggle with navigating a straight path. She was really understanding when I would need to stop and catch my breath. I know I was only able to get through that hour with her help as well the Lord. I prayed all day that I would be able to do it.
After the tour we did a really, really short visit with Yvonne (she lives in the area) and then grabbed some dinner and were on our way to Meridian. We stayed the next two nights with Kelly and Bruce Barfuss. Kelly had taken the day off and had a hair appointment in the morning so Jenna and I were able to "sleep in". I didn't sleep past about 7:00am but was able to just lay in bed for another three hours or so. I really needed it since it seemed I wasn't able to hardly even move enough to go let Max out for a potty break.
When Kelly got back, we went to the IMAX theatre to go see "Gravity". I knew it was going to be a struggle, but Jenna really wanted to see it and there isn't much else to do with a friend when you're not feeling well. It was a good movie, but the volume was super loud and there were plenty of times the sounds were very startling and my nervous system went pretty haywire. Every nerve ending was buzzing by the time the movie was over and I had a hard time getting out to the car. Then, Kelly and Bruce were going to a dinner activity at church but Jenna and I opted to stay back so I could try to rest and get my electrical system to ramp down. When they got back, we stayed up the rest of the night talking about essential oils, looking at pics on Pinterest and talking about quilting and grandbabies! It was nice to have that kind of interaction again with a girlfriend. Jenna hung in there for most of it and she was just part of the conversations just like we were all the same age or something! haha
We drove back to Oregon the next day. I started driving but by the time we were at Brothers, Oregon, I was completely spent. Jenna took over and drove the second half (4/5 hours). I wanted her to see the overlook along the McKenzie Scenic Highway so we took that route. It's a pretty awesome stop. It's in the middle of a lava field (acres upon acres of pretty much nothing but lava rocks). Someone built a structure made of the lava rock that you can traverse up to the top, about 40 feet high I would guess. There is a "room" at the top that has little windows, that when you look through them, you can see a small space in the distance of a particular mountain or peak (Mt. Washington, Black Butte, etc).
This is a stock photo from Wikipedia. Hopefully you can tell what it's like. The photographer is inside of the structure looking out of the long, narrow "window" or "viewing hole" also known as a "peak finder". I think these two peaks are "North Sister" and "Middle Sister".
I was going to have her go up by herself, but I really wanted to see it myself as well, so I hung on to her arm and took the stairs about five at a time with some breath catching about every 15 or so steps. I made it up there but was really dizzy and my the stabbing pain in my ear was back, so we didn't stay long. When we went back down, by the time I was at the bottom, my legs felt really weak and shaky. I wasn't sure if I was even going to make it back the car just a short 15-20 yards away. I just pushed forward and stayed the course! I was so focused on staying conscious and upright I just had to trust Jenna would make sure I didn't get hit by a car or something crazy while on my "journey" back to our vehicle. The buzzing and electrical chaos returned and didn't go away for a couple of hours. But, I DID IT!
When we got home, Jenna unloaded everything out of the car and I just laid on the couch. I was mentally and physically numb. We ate some Yumm Bowls for dinner and started watching the Duck game. I only made it through the first quarter before I completely faded out and got into bed. That was only 7:30pm!
I didn't sleep that great, but was in bed for almost 12 hours by the time I got up on Sunday morning. It's so crazy that just sitting in a car can be so physically taxing.
I came up with the title of this post from this experience:
Once Jeff woke up, we were talking and something really funny came up. I now have a new neurological dysfunction. Hysterical laughing. Ever have a laughing jag that is barely controllable? Well, you've never experienced one like I had yesterday morning. I was laughing so hard and for so long, it WAS out of my control! I was pleading for help, time after time, breath after breath! Of all things, Jeff thought of to do to help me, he thought to kiss me ! LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!! But, it worked! Now, THAT'S funny! I was able to regain control but then started to cry a little because it was so scary! I'm a little nervous about laughing hard at anything now and hope that never happens again!
Jeff was assigned to speak in our ward in Sacrament meeting so I was determined to make it to church. It doesn't start until 11:30, so I figured if I paced myself, I could make it. After all, I made it all the way through Sacrament meeting last week for Autumn's blessing without too much distress.
I ate breakfast, fed the pets and put a couple of things away that had been brought in from the car and then laid down. It was like I was experiencing that feeling of "heavy gravity" again. Like, either I put on 500 lbs over the last hour, or the gravitational pull on Earth had tripled. I was determined to make it to church, so I only laid down for about 10-15 minutes and then pushed myself to get up the stairs and showered and dressed in time. Jenna was coming to pick me up so I didn't need to worry about having to drive.
We made it there, even pretty much on time, but by the time I sat down (on the back row), I was so breathless, foggy headed and weak and dizzy, I had a hard time even recognizing what was even going on. It was all I could do to just force myself to block out everything and everyone so I could concentrate on getting control of my breathing and staying upright and conscious. It wasn't until about 30-40 minutes later that I was coherent enough to start focusing on what the speaker was saying. Just in time, too, because Jeff was next up. He gave an excellent talk. By that point, I was also able to make sense of what the person next to me was trying to convey. Right after the meeting, several people came up to me and asked how I was doing and such. It was nice to know people still remember and care.
I definitely wasn't up to staying for the rest of the meetings, so I had Jenna and Sarah help me out to the car as I was feeling a little unsteady. It's so strange how some days I can navigate through a short trip to the grocery store by myself and some days I can hardly navigate through the house to get to the bathroom. I can't make out a pattern or figure out what brings on which symptoms. Or what minimizes them.
After resting/dozing on the couch for several hours, I got a message from Cyndie Hale inviting us over to their house for a casual dinner of leek soup. Perfect. I got winded going up their stairs, but after settling into a cozy sofa, I caught my breath after about 1/2 hour. The soup was delicious and the company divine.
After we got home, Katy and Jason Winegar came over for a visit! They are such a cute, young couple! I haven't had this much attention for so long! I'm almost feeling human again!
Well, the last four days have been really full - as evidenced by the fact that it's almost 3:00 in the afternoon, I'm still in my PJ's and all I've done today is spent many increments of time composing this post. Time to actually lay down on the sofa and rest? I think, yes!
Here's the symptom list again and update:
NEURO SYSTEM
Seizures XX
Tremors XX
headache Mostly sinus type pain, every day
Migraine XX
mild dizziness daily, the majority of the day.
moderate dizziness daily
severe dizziness several times over the last week
confusion, memory loss Daily
severe drowsiness Daily, intermittent, 2-5x day
sleepiness Severe sleepiness "attacks" 1x/ day over last week about every other day
numbness of limb/s XX
weakness/muscle function of limb/s less often over the last week!
severe slurring of speech hardly at all
mild slurring of speech minor, but almost daily
stuttering none over the last week.
severe hyperactivity XX
restless legs XX
atypical facial pain XX
CHEST
Palpitations a couple of times over the last week
tachycardia a couple of times over the last week
shortness of breath daily, intermittent
high blood pressure XX
Angina not in the last week that I can recall
GASTROINTESTINAL
Nausea mild daily. using peppermint oil effectively
diarrhea probably only 1x or 2x over last week, prob due to Magnesium reduction.
pain when swallowing XX
EARS
Ringing daily, constant
Noise intolerance Mostly just when I went to the movies
marked hearing impairment daily, intermittent
Inner ear pain yesterday when climbing stairs
PSYCHOLOGICAL/PSYCHIATRIC
Severe depression None before this month (10/2013)
irritability mild
aggression XX
anxiety moderate
personality changes probably
insomnia daily, but slight improvement over last week.
phobias XX
EYES
Blindness none
double vision mild
decreased vision mild
blurring bright flashes XX
tunnel vision XX
decreased night vision yes
eye pain XX
decreased tears XX
trouble with contact lenses yes
bulging eye/s not bad, intermittent.
SKIN AND ALLERGIES
Itching without a rash daily. area on right lower leg. upper back
lip and mouth reactions XX
hives XX
development or aggravation of asthma not sure if my significant increase in shortness of breath (last few
weeks) is technically asthma or not but descriptions found on the internet, but it sure sounds/feels like it
ENDOCRINE AND METABOLIC
Loss of, or less control of, blood sugar levels (diabetes or hypoglycemia) Yes
menstrual changes XX
marked thinning or loss of hair Yes
marked weight loss XX
marked weight gain yes. Today 167.8. Yikes. Was 143 in January. 24.8lb gain in 9 months.
severe PMS XX
OTHER
Urinary frequency daily. every 2 hours. But I drink a lot of liquids/water.
burning with urination XX
excessive thirst mild
fluid retention mild
leg swelling XX
bloating daily, constant
increased susceptibility to infections or viruses Probably. I've not had much exposure to virus' lately, plus I'm using "On Guard" essential oil propriety blend for a immune system boost.
Unique to me that may or may not be related:
Chronic Post Nasal Drip and chronic mild to moderate nasal congestion. yes
Buzzing (most likely related) yes, daily off and on, even wake up to it in the middle of the night
Hysterical Laughing Once, yesterday. Hopefully never again. Scary.
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